Description & Duties
The Religious Advisor (RA) is the keeper of the faith and enforcer of the scriptures. He/she is the hasher who has seen the lite (Bud, Ultra, PBR) and can taste the souls of other to implant the true spirit of hashing. The religious advisor spreads the word and inspires the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants.
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The RA is responsible for managing the circle, enforcing traditions, and recognizing those that don’t abide by these sacred traditions. The RA summons offenders to the center of the circle, explains their transgressions, then opens him/her up to the pack for ridicule prior to singing a song while he/she drinks a down-down (beverage of choice).
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The RA is the caretaker of our sacred laws (traditions) and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of impropriety within the hash. The RA is ALWAYS RIGHT and should not be questioned on his/her guidance. Remember, you don’t have to be guilty, just accused.
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The Religious Advisor is responsible for the weather and should be hailed when the sun is shining and shunned with a down-down when there is rain.
Finally, the RA blesses the hares prior to departing to lay trail, gives the Chalk Talk before trail, and makes sure visitors and virgins are introduced and have a rough idea of what’s going on.
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Typical Flow of Events
Once the gods have agreed that the time to hash has arrived the RA calls the pack together.
- Welcome the Pack
- Introduce the hares
- Ask said hares to explain their hash marks and provide any special instructions
- Puts the hares on their knee (no the other knee)
- Bless the hares by saying the following (while dribbling beer over their cranium
- Repeat after me:
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RA: Bless these hares Pack: Bless these hares
RA: No dogamus bitamus Pack: No dogamus bitamus
RA: No policeama arestamus Pack: No policeama arestamus
RA: No snakeamus bitamus Pack: No snakeamus bitamus
RA: No shiggamus killamus Pack: No shiggamus killamus
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RA calls the Pack into the circle where all hands are placed on the cranium of the hares and in unison proclaims:
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“I am hashing of my own free will. If I get injured on trail it’s my own damn fault”
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- RA notes the time, advises the hares that their 10 minute head start begins now and yells “Hares Away”
- After Hares leave, the RA brings out the virgins (first time hashers) and visitors (from other kennels)
- Introductions
- Who made you come
- When the allotted head start has expired, the RA blows the whistle and yells On-On
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The Circle
After the pack returns from the trail, a gathering is required to recognize the Hares for the shitty trail and the pack for any trail violations
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- Recognize The Hares
- Ask the pack if they found any hare violations
- Sing them a down-down song
- Recognize the Virgins
- Where are you from?
- Who made you come?
- Recognize the Visitors
- Where are you from
- Who made you Come
- Sing us a song, tell us a joke, show us a joke, or show us a body part
- Recognize the Pack
- Ask the pack if there were any pack violations
- Sing them a down-down song
- Recognize the Hares (again and again)
- Recognize the Pack (again and again)
Rinse Lather and Repeat as often as needed
- Whistle Check
- Hash Attire (Virgins excluded)
- New Shoes? If so, they must drink via filter of choice
- Blood on Trail?
- Mother Given Names
- Etc… (be creative)
- Birthdays (+/- 2 Weeks)
- Stats
- Anal-verseries
- Streakers
- Backsliders
- Awards
- Etc….
- Announcements
- On-After Location
- Next Hash
- Etc…
- At the end Announce: This circle is Closed
- RA: May the Hash Go In peace
- Pack: May the hash get a piece
- RA: We don’t women with good taste
- Pack: We want women that taste good
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Finally, ensure the area is cleaner than we found it.
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We’re HASHERS NOT TRASHERS